Letting Go Before I Become a Hoarder! (is harder than I thought)

The pile of stuff for the consignment sale!

Good grief!  Having a small house with small closets may be the best thing that ever happened to me.  Otherwise, my amount of "stuff" would have grown to a level that is indescribable and unmanageable by now!

A few weeks ago, a friend sent a text about a consignment sale and asked if I had items I'd like to place in them.  At the time, I thought that I'd have a few items that I would send.  I started out with a simple bag that I had already placed a few items in.

Before it was over with, this grew into a large plastic garbage sack for donation along with another smaller bag.

Additionally, I had:

• 1 large plastic bin completed filled
• 2 cloth bags packed full
• 2 overflowing smaller boxes

It was time.  It was past time for all of this stuff to go.  What was I going to do with it.

I had lots of great things I hated to part with, but what good was all of this stuff doing me?  After I came home with King Diaper, I faced the facts and packed up the clothes that didn't fit thinking I'd be back in the next year.  And two year later, they were still packed.  

Have I given up on those clothes and being that size again?  No.  Not really.  I have set some very specific goals for myself this year and have been working really hard to get there.  But hanging on to clothes that don't fit isn't going to motivate me to do this.  If I haven't been motivated enough in two years, I need to move on from that.  

More stuff to be donated!

Some times hanging on just weighs you down and is just that sad, depressing reminder that this part of my life has passed.  Or has it?

Not really.  My life has changed.  So has my size.  It happens to every body.  

When I get to where I'm going, I don't know what my size or shape will be.  That always seems to change for women.  Yes.  We did get that lucky!

So, all of the stuff went!  I tossed and turned over it thinking about that grey dress or cute top that maybe I would want later.  Or would I?  Do I want the clothes or what they represent for me?  

I don't know how to answer that.  But I do know that hanging on to them is hanging on to something isn't helping me.  

My closets are cleaned out and have more room.  I have less stuff and baggage.  And maybe it just represents the baggage and everything else that I hope to get rid of this year.  Sometimes life if full circle that way.  And maybe I'm just trying to not be a hoarder.  And maybe I'll end up with a little change for some new clothes.

I think the hardest part was actually seeing the clothes on the rack at the consignment sale.  It was a definite good bye to who I used to be, the size I once was and the clothes that I loved.  But then again, that life was minus one other little life that has filled our home with joy.  It isn't easy making peace with all of that.  But, it is something that I'm sorting out a little at a time.

I think any woman would be lying if she didn't say that she missed her pre baby body if it isn't what she wanted it to be.  I have seen articles recently talking about "I'm fat and happy".  I just don't know if I can or ever will buy it.  Its a concept that is good in theory but I don't think that I'm every going to settle for fat and happy.  I want to be healthy and happy.  That is my ultimate goal at this point in my life.  I don't know what those clothes, that number on the scale or that size is going to look like just yet.  But once I get there I'll know.

Either way, its a good thing.  And it is necessary.  Even if it keeps me up at night.  Because once I embrace the change and letting go, I always sleep much better!